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clare

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12:26 pm: middle school
i was talking to victor today about how i was in middle school, and i realized how fucked up i was... like, suicidally depressed. i wondering if i can find my old diaries.. i'm pretty sure i threw them away. which i know is never a good idea, but it's a good way to get over something mentally. i never told anyone before because back then you'd be called emo or a poser if they thought you were just acting sad. i'm lucky my life took a different direction than where it was going.

anyway.

st. patrick's day was fun. actually got to drink despite it being a tuesday. played ring of fire w/ kayla, rory and kind of peter and victor for a bit in my dorm room. i need to work harder at keeping up my relationships with people and not being unbalanced... which is difficult if you don't work at it, but it can be done. i've had the greatest friends in college than i've ever had and i want to keep it that way.

in other news, i'm pretty sure i'm going to bejing for the summer. but i'm not sure if it'll be for 2 or 3 months yet. it might be two, which means learning a semester a month of advanced chinese. not too bad. i "learned" a semester of korean in a couple weeks, haha. i didn't learn it very well, though...

i'm afraid to check what i got on my forensics test >.<
i'm afriad it's another 'b' >.<
which i know doesn't sound bad, but tests scores are pretty much the only grade in that class, and even though i got a 'b' last time, it was the lowest grade in the class!!!! ahhhhh!!!!! so ashamed! >.

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