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March 4th, 2017

10:58 am:

Boyfriend is away for the weekend by choice. He's having more fun than he ever has with me. I know it. I just nag. I want to die.

February 21st, 2017

04:05 pm:

I am thinking of giving up social media for Lent, which starts March 1. I can allow myself once a week if it's on my desktop at work, but I'm going to delete the apps off my phone.

Definitely Facebook. Maybe Reddit and Tumblr too. Maybe Instagram and Twitter.

Definitely Facebook though.

February 16th, 2017

04:25 pm: Wow

This thing is old

May 18th, 2009

10:34 am: sanibal
our family's trip was pretty nice. i got to hang out with my brother more than i usually do. i managed to come back not sunburned, which is a huge accomplishment (although i got tanner... just in time for chinese people too see and not white people. GREAT.), and also come back not fatter. yay! :D it was annoying watching my family eating dessert in front of me... is it bad that i look at them as pigs sometimes? my mom especially... she can't control her urges to eat anything she wants for that long. and i know she'll complain about weighing more now. it took a whole week...
anyway, on saturday we got motorized scooters and rode around for a long time which was actually a lot of fun despite almost causing an accident (not surprised, neither were my parents). it scooters maxed out at 40 mph which was fine for me. i didn't want to die... it was really nice riding next to the water. that night we watched the sunset on the beach too, which was nice.
on sunday, we took a boat out (I'M ON A BOAT!) for what was meant to be 4 hours but ended up being 5 hours because our boat didn't work properly and super slow... we saw two dolphins from a distance and two sting rays in the water next to us. i thought that was cool. i spent minimum time in the water due to the fish. i also got enough sun to last me the rest of the year... it was nice to get out on the water. it was also really nice to come home...

May 12th, 2009

03:33 pm: *フーーー!*
so... after a very big scare last night about visas and maybe not being able to actually get into china, i think it's all sorted out now. they are having us get a different visa so we don't have to wait for the paperwork and i sent in all the stuff for that today. hopefully it gets here in time... it -should-, but things can always happen.
but! i feel a lot better than i did last night, freaking out until 2 in the morning <.<;; then freaking out today filling out/printing out forms, getting passport photos, money order, mailing stuff.. but it got done, which is good. just trip insurance left now.

i've been keeping up with my diet/exercising for the most part. weighed myself a day ago and weighed 119.4. (i checked twice >.<) so... under 120 is good! i don't think i weighed that little when i started high school.. running is like a magic weight-loss drug, except not because you have to work pretty hard at it, lol. but like, results are really quick. i took a "day off" yesterday, where i just ate normally. didn't created a calorie surplus, but also prob not a deficit either. like the day never happened! haha. now i need to get back into the habit. going to go running now soon... outside for the first time in a while. i have to avoid the stupid birds that decide to all attack me for no reason >.<

my mom's talking about taking me off my pills, but prob not before next semester. i wonder how that'll work out, lol.
speaking of my mom, she started weight watchers. she used to run 5 days a week and weight 127 (less than i weighed 2 months ago!!), maybe 10 years ago, and now she's... a lot more than that. i hope i care enough about my health and my body to have to motivation to keep trying to stay in shape. i don't want to think that my body will only get worse from now on... i'm not even that happy with it now. and i'm young!! oh, well...

on a less depressing note, although victor and i haven't seen each other in over a week now (feels like a lot longer..) i feel like our relationship is actually growing, since we're communicating online most of the time, and i feel a lot freer to express myself.. and of course he's being all sweet and romantic, and also the absence is probably making us want to be together more. so, that's all good. he'll be coming up to visit me... not this weekend but the next. that should be fun. i wonder what 12 weeks will do though..? well, no use worrying about it. just have to make the best out of the situation and hope it goes well!

Current Mood: hopefulhopeful

April 22nd, 2009

01:22 pm: flights are booked. rory and i are sitting together, and i got a vegan meal and like, 15,000 miles on my continental airways account. pretty sweet.

today i have two finals. i was going to have 3 but i moved on to next week. i have already taken my astronomy one and i feel pretty good about it. now my chinese one is coming up in an hour and a half. i'm going to review the grammar, maybe some vocab, and read the stories they have. oh, and the situational responses... yeah. good thing i know exactly which ones will be on the test!

next tuesday is korean, then next thursday is forensics. i have to go to the forensics office hours to look at my old tests (can't take them back nor photo copy them) but i have a whole study guide for it, so it should be easy (relatively). i have to remember to try on my old dress from a high school homecoming for the casa formal tomorrow night... hopefully that's fun, i paid for both mine and victor's tickets >.< and i'm poor now that i paid the registration fee and the plane ticket (plus tax!) for my trip to china. $1,800+, GONE! (sort of)

just had krishna lunch, and i'm sad to find out just how many calories it has. that stupid dessert thing has 400-something... plus the spaghetti, the sauce, the chips (which i gave to victor) and the salad dressing... ahh!! well, at least i'm planning on running tonight, and i feel so satisfied right now that i won't mind being super strict the next few days.

speaking of which... i'm leaving in 9 days!! leaving g-ville, that is. then i'll be in so fla for a good month before leaving for... beijing! for 3 months! holy shit that's a long time >.< i think that'll be the longest i've spent away from my family. i never get homesick though so i'm not too worried. plus rory will be there.

soo yeahh.. should prob. get back to studying soon. test in an hour an a half!

April 20th, 2009

10:15 pm: china!!!
so, now that it's pretty much set in stone, i am SOOOO excited that i'm going to be in BEIJING for THREE MONTHS doing a HOMESTAY. ahhhhhhhhh!!!! and in less than 5 weeks!!!! omg!!!!!


in other news, i think i've lost 7 lbs so far! i was 130 now i'm 123 (assuming the scales i'm using are correct?). all the exercise and counting calories is really working. i did not expect to lose more than 1 lb/week, but it's been more like 2. not complaining! still trying to get to 115 though. if i want to get there before china, that's 7 lbs in 5 weeks. that def. doable if i stay on the same track. i'm planning on going running tomorrow morning, and then having krishna lunch for the last time this year! so sad! but it'll be worth it. i can't wait for next year, living with my 3 best friends, having mu own room, having my own (shared!) kitchen... and being really close to a nice gym so i don't have to run outside anymore with those damn hills and crosswalks and people honking at me (although i know the hollering is meant to be a compliment..).


i feel so much better about myself, having control over my body, making it the best it can be. i really missed this. hopefully i can keep it up in china! at least now i know to just control how much i eat. i love my calorie journal <3

Current Mood: :D

April 14th, 2009

11:50 am: sucess?
so, according to the public scale(s?), i've gone from 130 to 125 lbs in a week. i don't know if i believe that though. that's a LOT for a week. i was planning on 1lb/week. i guess it's good? i'm not going to let this make me feel like i don't have to try hard anymore though. i'll assume it's a fluke (it probably is.. weight fluctuates normally throughout the day anyway and i could have just lost water weight) and keep working hard until i reach my goal. 10 more lbs!


i really like this guy's videos. he has hundreds of them and what he says makes sense. kayla is worried about me because she's afraid i'm becoming anorexic or something but i'm still eating usually 4 times a day, drinking water all the time, exercising somewhat regularly and taking multivitamins everyday. i couldn't run if i didn't have enough energy to do it.

in other news, i might go see demetri martin tonight! hopefully that'll be fun. and if we present today in forensics, i hope we do well >.

April 9th, 2009

11:44 pm: もう止めたいけど

March 18th, 2009

12:26 pm: middle school
i was talking to victor today about how i was in middle school, and i realized how fucked up i was... like, suicidally depressed. i wondering if i can find my old diaries.. i'm pretty sure i threw them away. which i know is never a good idea, but it's a good way to get over something mentally. i never told anyone before because back then you'd be called emo or a poser if they thought you were just acting sad. i'm lucky my life took a different direction than where it was going.


st. patrick's day was fun. actually got to drink despite it being a tuesday. played ring of fire w/ kayla, rory and kind of peter and victor for a bit in my dorm room. i need to work harder at keeping up my relationships with people and not being unbalanced... which is difficult if you don't work at it, but it can be done. i've had the greatest friends in college than i've ever had and i want to keep it that way.

in other news, i'm pretty sure i'm going to bejing for the summer. but i'm not sure if it'll be for 2 or 3 months yet. it might be two, which means learning a semester a month of advanced chinese. not too bad. i "learned" a semester of korean in a couple weeks, haha. i didn't learn it very well, though...

i'm afraid to check what i got on my forensics test >.<
i'm afriad it's another 'b' >.<
which i know doesn't sound bad, but tests scores are pretty much the only grade in that class, and even though i got a 'b' last time, it was the lowest grade in the class!!!! ahhhhh!!!!! so ashamed! >.

Current Mood: okayokay
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